The Blog.
I wrote a lot from 2013 - 2019 about addiction, sobriety, and recovery in all forms. While I occasionally post here, most of my this type of writing now goes into my newsletter — subscribe.
We are in a process. Let the discomfort work on you.
The collective process right now, when compared to the expanse of human history, has probably happened before. I’m no history scholar, but the literature and teachers tell me we have been here. The specifics are different, but symbolically the story is not new: we are in a burning, spiritually speaking.
Hell is Other People (or How to Navigate The Holidays Sober)
My question is about myself and the upcoming Thanksgiving meal. I have known myself for nearly 20 years, and I have rarely been able to be around myself without drinking alcohol.
The Shame Cave
How do you ever get over the shame? Even with two years in therapy, I feel like I sit in a shame cave that I can’t escape.
A Decade of Darkness: My Journey with Ambien
I was 28 when I got my first Ambien prescription. I'd just moved in with my boyfriend, and I sat in our bed one night holding half of the skinny peach-colored pill in my palm. Both of us wondered what it would do. How long would it take to kick in? Would I remember falling asleep? Where would I go?
Am I an Alcoholic?
I have been wondering if I have a problem. Drinking for me took the form of 1-2 glasses of wine every day with dinner. I recently, without much thought, decided to give up drinking for Lent.
The Tipping Point
The answers to the big questions are always both complicated and simple. There was a tipping point and there were countless things that nudged me toward it.
Getting Drunk on Judgment
It took him a moment to speak, and when he did I realized he was drunk. Really drunk. I looked at my phone to check the time: 7:12 am. He’d been going since the night before.
Don’t Let The House Burn Down
I've been considering taking myself to AA for the past three days, but don't quite think I'm an “alcoholic." I just take the edge off... every night... with a bottle of wine.
What if My Lobster is Addicted?
My sister is addicted What if she's in trouble and her life has become unmanageable? I am stuck in this cognitive mess of "don't judge,” "just love,” but "don't enable,” "don't turn your head/sweep it under the rug/act like it's not happening" but I don't know what that is all supposed to look like from day to day.
The Morning After: Two Years Later
Two years ago today, the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, I woke up in a jail cell. I got my first DUI.